


The temptation of the mirror

by Melime



Series: Not the one you lost [1]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Community: femslashficlets, F/F, Post Episode: s07e18 Heroes (2)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 22:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam knows it wouldn't be her Janet, but sometimes, she still thinks about the quantum mirror.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The temptation of the mirror

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [A tentação do espelho](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763672) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



> Challenge #023 "mirror". Well, a quantum mirror, actually, how didn't I think of this before?

Sometimes, Sam laid awake at night, thinking of what was, and what could have been. Perhaps it was a consequence of her work, but death didn’t feel all that permanent. It seemed unfair, somehow, that all of them had died at least once, but those deaths didn’t “count”, and yet Janet lost her only life in such an ordinary incident. Maybe it was the fact that Sam could accomplish true miracles, mastering technology they shouldn’t have, or maybe it was the fact no one never gave up on saving anybody else, but no one tried to get Janet back. It surprised her, that the most difficult thing about having a secret relationship was having to pretend she didn’t just lose her lover. Maybe it was so hard because she was alone, while in everything else, at least she could count on Janet to be with her every step of the way. It made her want to tell someone, at least her friends, but she didn’t want to burden them with her secret, the same way she didn’t want to when Janet was alive.

In a way, Sam was grateful that the quantum mirror was destroyed. Even knowing it didn’t exist anymore, at least no on her universe, it was a temptation almost too large to bare. She would catch herself thinking, before she could stop those pervasive thoughts, that maybe she could find another way of travelling between alternate realities. So it was good that she didn’t have such means at her disposal, because finding herself inventing a new way to cross over gave her time to stop, but if the mirror was just a few security measures away, she would have acted before she could remind herself. Because she always remembered, in the end. Her Janet was gone, the Janet she kissed good morning before driving in separate cars, the Janet she raised a daughter with, while pretending she was just a godmother, the Janet that would say ‘I love you’ every chance she got, that Janet was gone, forever. Even if she could steal away another one, with the same face and so many of the same experiences, even if she got so far as to find one that had kissed her Sam on an impulse while they watched a movie, it wouldn’t be _her_ Janet. But she couldn’t deny, even so the alternate realities were a temptation.


End file.
